Saturday, March 18, 2006
Being with my thoughts.

I've had a few not-so-good days. It feels like an emotional regression. It sucks. Whenever I get into one of these funks, all of my progress seems to slip away.

I got the results to my sleep studies. I have moderate sleep apnea. I didn't want to write a whole lot about it here, because it's easily 'fixed' and I thought by now I'd be getting sleep and be writing about it from a different perspective. Now that I've had a glimpse of what restorative sleep feels like I WANT MORE. It's like a drug. I'm jealous of people who can easily get it and I'm angry at myself for always thinking I know more than the doctors. The worst part-- I caused this. My doctor thinks that if I had my tonsils removed when it was first recommended (roughly seven years ago) then I would not have this problem now. I could still get my tonsils removed, but it carries much more of a risk since I am older and have developed other health problems. These feelings are only temporary, as I will soon get a CPAP machine to wear while I sleep, enabling me to sleep normally and stop bitching. YAY! I was supposed to get it last Monday, and the extra week is really what's getting to me.

J is doing horribly. It's strange--she thinks she's doing absolutely wonderfully. How many hospitalizations do you have to have before you realize that you have some problems? She is now living with a cocaine addicted prostitute. Can you guess what she's doing? Yup, cocaine and prostitution. I can't even talk to her anymore. She leaves a lot of messages about "this dude didn't pay so I had to (break a window, pull out a knife, key his car) and now the cops are trying to find me". It's so sad! I look back at the eight years I've known her and I'm just shocked. And disappointed.

I'm going to shake this attitude over the weekend. I think I just have to be with my thoughts instead of pushing them away. That's why I wrote them down here! Blog therapy!






8 Comments:
Anonymous Kristina had this to say:

Hey! I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea about two years ago. I don't hav ethe machine and my doctor also thinks that it has to do with my tonsils. I get chronic bronchitis and strep throat and I have asthma. I have to go for sleep test after the baby is born. I hope you are able to find some relief once your machine comes.

Sorry about your friend. I have a friend like that who never seems to make the right choices. I cry for her a lot.

5:05 PM EST 

Blogger *~Tey~* had this to say:

your blog is pretty. I came through Blog Mad

6:11 PM EST 

Blogger magnolia had this to say:

Kristina- LOL we have a lot in common as far as sickness goes! I could only imagine what Annie would say!

Tey- Thanks, it's from girliebits.blogspot.com

9:15 AM EST 

Blogger Heidi had this to say:

so sorry to hear abt J., magnolia. it isn't easy to see someone you care about make unhealthy choices... :( ((((HUGS))))

I hope you had a good wkend and were able to shake your mood. I think writing your feelings down is a very good way of figuring out how to deal with them.

1:44 PM EST 

Anonymous Kristina had this to say:

"I could only imagine what Annie would say!"

I know. We must have been planted by the devil in order to weaken the human race. LOL.

1:30 AM EST 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

You have an outstanding good and well structured site. I enjoyed browsing through it forex trader Zyban en frangais radar detector comparasons bronze bathroom faucet free free free free buy meridia pay per strategy marketing click ppc promotion case associates eyeglasses washers Flat chested swimsuits barcode amd scanners How to get top search engine placement

11:25 AM EST 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

NSU - 4efer, 5210 - rulez

6:53 PM EST 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. » » »

2:46 PM EST 

Post a Comment

Back To the Main Page

Stores!