Wednesday, March 29, 2006
And then...

More crap.

I've been sleeping with my CPAP for almost a week now. I'd like to say that I am sleeping better than ever before, but it just HASN'T HAPPENED. Last night I made it through the whole night without taking the mask off and flinging it across the room; a first! Instead, it was around my chin causing me general face pain and a slightly loose tooth for most of the day. The tooth found it's normal position and settled back in quite nicely. Since it seems the mask is getting closer and closer to an effective position, I'm not giving up yet.


My friend got married! Yay! I've known Kay since sixth grade. We were never friends until she and my (at the time) friend BigMeanie started dating many years later. That relationship eventually came to a violent end, but Kay and I were able to hold on to our friendship. Kay is the best auntie my girls have, and even though they don't see her that often, when they are together it is like they were never apart.

Kay started dating Rebecca two-ish years ago, and it was obvious from the beginning they were meant to be together. With my anxiety and trust issues, I usually require people to 'grow on me' for a few months, but Rebecca just instantly fit. She's awesome with my girls. She's also very kind, has good morals, and is just a generally kick ass person. I love her almost as much as I love Kay, and I've only met her in person a handful of times.

So, congratulations Kay and Rebecca! You both so deserve the happiness you bring each other!


Seventy-one degrees is my kind of weather. The girls and I spent most of the day today playing and gardening is the beautiful sun. The neighbors cooked on the grill and fed us all. It was perfect. The white tulips I planted last year are starting to bloom, but the daylillies got crushed by certain trampling kids whose names I will not mention. Tomorrow the forecast looks the same.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006
These kids.

There's a lot of new stuff going on around here:

Sky now has a boyfriend. He's nine and his name is Shane. That's pretty much all I know about him. I have no idea where he comes from, who his parents are, or why he keeps hanging around in our front yard, but he's cute! I'm guessing Sky decided Shane was her 'boyfriend' on her own, because he runs away every time she mentions it. It is very cute.

Moon (now three) doesn't remember Easter very well. In fact, she thinks Easter is a person. When I told her we were going to color eggs for Easter soon she said "And Easter will say 'Thank You, I love these eggs', right?" Umm....yeah.

Sky is now riding her bike like Speed Racer. She flies so fast that I am afraid she'll tip right over. Moon can't pedal yet, but she likes to sit on the bike and roll down the hill in our car port.

Hero is going to be working a different job next week. It requires more hours and much less work. We'll see how that goes.

Finally, CPAP (or Sleep Box as I like to call it) is not coming until Friday. I am going to be testing a new, smaller, quieter machine for the manufacturers. I can't wait.

Saturday, March 18, 2006
Being with my thoughts.

I've had a few not-so-good days. It feels like an emotional regression. It sucks. Whenever I get into one of these funks, all of my progress seems to slip away.

I got the results to my sleep studies. I have moderate sleep apnea. I didn't want to write a whole lot about it here, because it's easily 'fixed' and I thought by now I'd be getting sleep and be writing about it from a different perspective. Now that I've had a glimpse of what restorative sleep feels like I WANT MORE. It's like a drug. I'm jealous of people who can easily get it and I'm angry at myself for always thinking I know more than the doctors. The worst part-- I caused this. My doctor thinks that if I had my tonsils removed when it was first recommended (roughly seven years ago) then I would not have this problem now. I could still get my tonsils removed, but it carries much more of a risk since I am older and have developed other health problems. These feelings are only temporary, as I will soon get a CPAP machine to wear while I sleep, enabling me to sleep normally and stop bitching. YAY! I was supposed to get it last Monday, and the extra week is really what's getting to me.

J is doing horribly. It's strange--she thinks she's doing absolutely wonderfully. How many hospitalizations do you have to have before you realize that you have some problems? She is now living with a cocaine addicted prostitute. Can you guess what she's doing? Yup, cocaine and prostitution. I can't even talk to her anymore. She leaves a lot of messages about "this dude didn't pay so I had to (break a window, pull out a knife, key his car) and now the cops are trying to find me". It's so sad! I look back at the eight years I've known her and I'm just shocked. And disappointed.

I'm going to shake this attitude over the weekend. I think I just have to be with my thoughts instead of pushing them away. That's why I wrote them down here! Blog therapy!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006
An inventory.

I love to know how others see me. Often, traits that I have (and lack) are brought to my attention by others in simple ways that make me re-evaluate myself. For instance, my therapist is constantly pointing out how observant I am, even though I usually think of myself as a 'head in the clouds' type of person.

Lately, I've noticed I've had more returning visitors (Hi guys! Feel free to leave a comment linking to your blog and I'll be sure to check you out!) so I figured this was a great opportunity to take some inventory.

Go here to tell me what traits I have that rock, and.....

Go here tell me what traits I have that suck. If you would rather only do one or the other- that's fine, too. I know all my friends IRL are going to have interesting things to say.

Lastly, I would LOVE links to your Johari and/or Nohari so I can see!

Side Note: My original wasn't working, so I tried to make a new one with using "allthingsmagnolia" and inadvertantly somehow ended up leaving my traits on the page belonging to "Magnolia" and signing the name "allthingsmagnolia". So, "Magnolia", sorry about that.

Sunday, March 12, 2006
Spring Cleaning!

We've had some beautiful weather here in Maryland! Friday surprised us with sixty degrees! I am not yet used to Spring in March, even though I've done this before. When the temperature got even warmer on Saturday, I decided to start cleaning out the garden.

As you can tell from Picture 1, it was quite messy. After the last annuals had gone to seed, I simply pulled out the dead stuff and left everything else be for the winter. If you look closely, you can see multiple matchbox cars thrown in by the neighborhood kids. I also found a fork, several crumpled up checks, and various doll heads/bodies/shoes.

Picture 2 shows the result after the end of day 1. Clean and weed-free!

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*PIC 1* *PIC2*

Pic 3 is of the front garden. Again, very messy! The greenery that you see coming up is mostly tulips. Also, there are two daylilly bushes and two irises who have made it through a snowfall and several freezes! The rest is weeds and grass, both which have grown over the wood that separates garden from front lawn.

Pic 4, another end of day 1 pic. It's cleaned out and weeded, but I still want to dig around the wood pieces and put some stone or something in there.
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*PIC 3* *PIC 4*

We're expecting a frost tonight, followed by a few days of chilly weather. When all that passes, I'll be sure to give updates as Spring Cleaning progresses!

Thursday, March 09, 2006
Random Shops

My sleep study went really well! More on that later.

I'm really excited to announce that someone affiliates with my shop! They are currently advertising one of my designs and have pulled in six additional sales for me. Unfortunately, I have no idea who this person is, so I can't thank them for driving traffic to my shop. So--in the spirit of affiliation--here are some designs from a store I love, Random Shops.

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*All images should link directly to Random Shops, not to the products shown.*

Random Shops definately has a great variety of designs. From the more than appropriate "Hope" and "Faith" tees to others too R-rated to show here, I'm quite positive this store has something for everyone. I really like that all the sections are seperated. It makes it impossible to land in the R-rated section without clicking to go there. There are quite a few sections including "RETRO gear" and "Dork wear". Very cool. I'm hoping to send some traffic there and possibly even a sale or two--so if you like what you see go visit!!

Crap I am legally obligated to write: Magnolia, allthingsmagnolia (blog), and Randomshops are entities independent from and the Web Sites. Randomshops is not owned by Magnolia or allthingsmagnolia (blog). Therefore, neither nor randomshops neccesarily loves or agrees with Magnolia or allthingsmagnolia (blog) and any opinions stated on this site ( or by the site owner (Magnolia)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Sleep study times two.

I'm getting ready to leave for my second (and final!) sleep study. I doubt I'll actually be getting much sleep tonight, so I'll probably be taking a sick day from blogging tomorrow.

Monday, March 06, 2006
Do You Love It As Much As I Do?


Here's my new blog design!

I freakin looooove this template. I love it. If you love it too, visit GirlieBits and tell her. While you're there make sure and look at her portfolio and see more of her awesomeness.

Saturday, March 04, 2006
Be consistent or Just Let It Go?

I am very interested in how other parents handle their children in public. I'd love to know what works for you and your kids! Any stories, comments, or suggestions are welcome (without judgment) in the comments section.

As you may know, I don't get out much. As a result, I am still working on an effective way to manage my children's difficult behavior in public. Since we are out and about much more now, I have to get my shit together and figure out what works. Here's what we've tried:

--Leaving the situation. Usually if a tantrum occurs I will simply pick up and leave. It's not always convenient, but I'm not one to let everyone in the library be disrupted by my child's antics. Also, I dislike rude comments about my kid's behavior and/or how I handle it. There have been occasions where leaving wasn't possible (8 hour flights, doctor visits, picking up things we needed when Hero was in Italy) and we just had to get through it. Since the girls don't tantrum much anymore, this is rarely an issue.

--Threats. The girls both seem to know that I cannot put them in time out in the middle of the grocery store. Although I do follow through with the threats when we arrive home, this method doesn't seem to get the message across. At home there is a warning ("We don't ____ in this house. Would you rather stop ____ or go in time out?") and then an action ("Let's take some time to think about why you continued _____"). The threats have been modified, as well as time out we have: no playing outside, no going to visit their neighborhood friends, no watching TV. All seem ineffective.

-- Telling Daddy. I'll be the first to admit that I have much less control over my kids than my husband does. It makes no sense--we discipline the same way, and are both consistent. For some reason when Daddy does the warning, the behavior stops. I usually have to follow the warning with time out at home. If there is an issue while we are out, I ask Hero to talk with them about it when he/we get home. Please note: I don't ever threaten to tell Daddy, and I'm not open to the idea.

--Letting it go. I've let harmless behaviors slide to avoid a production. I've ignored Sky adding things to the shopping cart until checkout. No big deal. I've let Moon walk to the car without her coat on. I've even acted like I didn't notice that Moon hid under the desk at the doctor's office when it was Sky's turn to get her check-up. The things I can't tolerate are screaming (both while tantruming and just to "hear the echo"), running in inappropriate places, leaving my side while in a store, and arguing with each other. I have a few friends that are "just let it go" mothers, and it works for them. My friend K has listened to her kid scream for an hour in Walmart, and not even commented on it. Unfortunately, I don't have the patience or Xanax to do that.

Is there something I'm missing? Anything I haven't tried? Will the girls grow out of this (now 3 and 4)? What works/worked for you?

One last thing, Hero and I don't spank as discipline. I have (on two occasions with Sky, four with Moon) spanked to instill fear about safety issues when explanations weren't enough. (ie. Sky got a 2nd degree burn on her arm from pulling down a lamp (that had no shade) at her Nana's house. A few weeks later she pulled on a lamp cord at home and I spanked her. She was 2 at the time.) If spanking works for you, I have no objection to that. If you'd like to comment about how well it works for you, also no objection. On the other hand, telling me I should just spank them isn't going to help.