Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I have a sister! And a completed sleep study! And 100 posts! PART ONE
So imagine my surprise when I opened up a letter from my SISTER!!! I have a sister. A real. Live. Sister. I know this sounds silly, but let me explain:
My mother's mom left her (my mom) with the police at the age of 2, where she was picked up by her father and paternal grandmother. Her grandmother died, and her father got heavy into drugs shortly thereafter. My mom's father remarried and added two step-brothers and three step-sisters to the family. My mother, along with the two step-brothers, unsupervised, set fire to a house and one step-brother died. Social services took custody of my mother and the step-brother, apparently at the step-mother's advice (the three other girls remained with her). My mother was about thirteen at the time, and traveled through the foster care system for the next two years.
Then came my dad. He was 21 when he met my mom. She was 15. My dad was a friend of my mother's foster mother's biological son, (got all that?) who was still living at home at the time. They dated for the next two years, causing all sorts of trouble, until my mom found out she had to move to a new foster home (reason unknown). A few days before she was supposed to leave, my dad found a cheap apartment and they "ran away" together. My dad worked, my mom stayed home, and there was lots of partying. About a year later, I was conceived and my mom was clear of social services.
After I was born, and my mom and dad got married. My brother was born a year and a half later. Apparently, we lived a lot of places for the next 3ish years, the biggest chunks of time with my grandmother. And here is where my memory kicks in. When I was four or five, we moved to a "summer time" town. One of those teeny towns that explodes with people during the summer.
I remember the fights, physical, verbal, and a combination of the two. My parents both drank a lot and I've been told were on drugs. My mother had an affair that sent my father off the edge (and my brother to throw Tonka trucks--a story for another day) and he spent a few days (possibly only one day?) in jail. My mother sat us down and told us her and my father were getting a divorce. I remember saying "I'm going with whoever's leaving the house." That was my dad (I'm sure it was coincidence). He took us to my Grandmother's, and that was the last time I saw my mother.
Insert years, dad's girlfriends, and much drinking here. Years full. Most of the time my brother and I remained with my Grandmother. And some of the girlfriends bought us cool toys. Anyway.....
About the time I was ten, my mother sent my brother and I a package. It contained Christmas gifts (they were T.M..Ninja Turtles toys and accessories from McDonald's--where she worked at the time-- and we LOVVVVVEEEDDD them!!! And don't listen to my brother, the belt was meant for me!) A few weeks later there were a few drunken phone-calls in which my mother cried and either my brother or I would listen in uncomfortable silence.
Again when I was fourteen-ish my mother started writing. I was in Social Services (or DSS, if you will) at the time, and living in a residential. My brother refused to write back to her, but I insisted she made a mistake and we would be like BFF from now on. She told me I had a sister and sent me a picture of a baby and continued responding to my letters for about three months. Then it all stopped. My letters never got returned, so I kept writing them for a while. Eventually, I gave up hope.
I used to carry that picture of my sister around and show everyone who hadn't seen it. I was so excited! I eventually stopped because people kept asking: "How old is she"--to which I never knew the answer (but do now!!!!) and "Why doesn't she look like you"--because she is black and I am white. I hated having to explain things, even a little, so I gave up. I still do have that picture, though.
.....To be continued. In the meantime, check out what I looked like
during my sleep study-- you can imagine the boobs and a shirt yourself, join freecycle
if you don't belong already, or visit Boston Native
| posted by magnolia at 5:44 PM
Heidi had this to say:
the sleep study pic looks kinda kinky, no? LOL
btw, my hubby LOVES freecycle.
I have comments about this post but will reserve them till I read the next part. I am in awe of you for sharing all of this though. speaking from experience, it is difficult to explain complicated family dynamics so others can get the full gist of things. I think you did well explaining your family dynamics. I got the gist anyway... off to read part two!
- 2:01 PM EST
had this to say:
Where did you find it? Interesting read »
- 12:47 AM EDT
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