Friday, December 30, 2005

J called me today. She went to her new doctor and got a new script for her favorite pills. She is apparently staying with a couple across post and leaving for MA tomorrow. I can't believe this is happening again.

As usual, while J was here I totally neglected my responsibilities to my family. I was crisis central for so long--on top of fighting off pneumonia--that I probably only sat down with my family for a meal four or five times out of the last two weeks.

When J went back to drugs it was a huge fight. She basically told me she was going and it took everything I had not to knock her out and tie her up until she was ready to resist the urge. I did help her resist. Verbally first, then physically. My neighbor's gathered at my house for almost three hours showing her what she would lose if she went back to using. Call it a make-shift intervention. Then while she was packing I asked my neighbor to take my girls and sat in her car with her. We drove around, picked up a man she buys off of, and she eventually--after much begging--took me home. There were threats, I took her keys, she attacked me for them, got them, and then left.

And now she's back at start.

We've seen some sad days in Magnolia land. Very. Sad. Days.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Holiday song.

The street lights come on earlier
When the days get shorter
Your with your mother-in-law
and want to hurt her

Just remember its the holidays!

You had pneumonia but you thought
it was just the flu
And the turkey that your cooking
is looking very blue

Just remember its the holidays!

You look like your on speed the day after
You spent three weeks in bed
And the alcohol on grandpa's breath
Is going straight to your head

Just remember its the holidays!

Your best friend ditched you for some drugs
of different varieties
Now she's pissing away
all her hard earned sobriety

Just remember its the holidays!

Santa brought the kids makeup
And now its a stain on the wall
Walking down an icy driveway,
on your ass you did fall
There were three broken bulbs
Fuck 'deck the halls'
And your cellphone says you have
twelve missed calls

God, I hate the holidays!

But you didn't get drunk, slit your wrists,
or hang yourself, or...
Take the bottle of pills
thats been sitting on the shelf

I can't believe I made it through the holiiiiiiiiiiiidaaaaaaays!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Flu Shot.

Hero is on the mandatory list of flu shot recipients, as are all soldiers. I hate flu shot season. I don't get the shot. My girls don't either, although they did when they were under two, as recommended. Flu shots always seem to lead to sick days. What better way to get people sick than to crowd them all into a room and stir around their germs a bit? This time, Sky and I were the unlucky ones.

The trip to Massachusetts went well. We saw snow on the ground starting in New Jersey. We watched as the ground covering increased all the way up to about four inches before we reached our destination. Hero drove the whole way, as I missed THREE entire nights of sleep that week.

Visiting was wonderful. Some highlights included seeing Hero's sixteen month old sister---soooo cute---try unsuccessfully to walk, exchanging Christmas gifts, and eating all sorts of delicious food that Hero's grandma fed us. Catching up on sleep two nights in a row (12 hrs/night) was great. The only thing I would have changed was the location of the heat pump in the motel. It was right at the foot of the adult bed, so the adults woke up with very dry noses and throats.

The day we left I started feeling sick at....let's say roughly 5pm. It rapidly progressed, and at 11pm--an hour and a half into our trip home--I was so sick I could not continue to drive. Hero took over, and the rest of the trip seemed like a lifetime. My throat was swollen and in pain, and I felt dizzy and mucusy. My asthma kicked in, and breathing became painful and difficult.

We arrived home and went to bed immediately. In the morning, I started hallucinating. It was nothing bad, I just had a conversation with my neighbor, did some laundry, and got drunk. In my head. Yeah. Anyway, at that point I figured I should take my temp, and it was nearing 103 degrees. So, I drank a few sips of soda and slept. For the next twenty-four hours. I only woke to demand another blanket, then to move from the couch into the bedroom.

I'm guessing my fever broke sometime during that sleep because I was soaked with sweat when I woke up. The bed was, too. Gross. I still had a fever, now only 101 degrees, but I could function. I took the girls temps, and Sky was 100. She was getting snotty and refusing to eat (but still drinking), so I medicined her up real good and pulled her into bed with me. She slept on and off--as did I--and her fever was gone by the next morning. Mine was gone the day after, and now only Sky's runny nose and my asthmatic wheeze linger. And, I blame it all on Hero's flu shot.

Thursday, December 01, 2005
So busy.

Things have been crazy lately, with the getting ready for Christmas and all. My neighbors put up a tree. As a result, Sky whined about a tree until I gave in and put one up. Now, three days later, there are ornaments under beds and in random drawers.

Hero is on leave (vacation) as of Monday. We are heading to Massachusetts immediately after he signs out and staying until Wednesday night. These official dates were made today, so I need to get packing. We have a barrage of things to do when we return, filling our schedule completely up for the next week and a half. Fun times!

Speaking of Hero, he had his first interview for this *secret* job today. Apparently things went really well. They want him in for a second and third interview in about three months. Since this is such a secret job, every step has to take a million years. Luckily the second and third interview are being combined, because he's so hot, and will "only take about five hours, but request the whole day off just in case". I am freakin proud of him but so scared at the same time. The interview guy he met with accidentally left his prompting sheet in with Hero's paperwork. It was scary.

I've been ordering fabric because I am going to give the girls room an extreme makeover for their birthdays. Now it is just sitting. In a pile. Getting covered in cat hair. Because I am currently crocheting my young, fragile, fat fingers away to make gifts for the neigbor's fetus and some random relatives. And the gifts we are bringing to Ma. with us aren't wrapped. I better get started soon!