Friday, August 26, 2005
Getting ready to go

I'm leaving on Sunday night, and I have not even begun to pack. That in itself should tell me something. I usually do everything way ahead of time. I usually would've only had to make the lunches for the kids at this point.

My biggest fear is a confrontation with brother. He is staying at my grandma's, where I will be most of Monday. That means when I visit, there is a chance of him coming in. Lets hope that does not happen, because he is unpredictable.

I got to see the psychiatrist again. She thinks I need to up my dose of meds, but is not ready to do it yet because of my freakish side effects. Increasing the dose means doubling it, and that is the highest dose perscribed. If that doesn't work it will mean new meds. It bothers me a little bit because I can see that this is working. Emotionally I feel the same but my reactions to things have gotten extremely better. Hero noticed it first and then I started to as well. Considering my reactions are what I am most concerned about, I will try to convince her to leave it as is. For a while anyway.

Sky has got to be the cutest kid ever. She wants to have a sleep-over and go to school and take care of the babies (dolls, that is). She's so social. I can't even believe that she is my child sometimes. All the neighborhood kids come over and play in the front yard, and the age difference between them doesn't seem to matter. Well, there is one eight year old who likes to hang with the grown-ups, and she's probably picked up on way too much grown-up talk because of it.

I'm having a hard time giving Sky her own space to grow and learn. Moon is such a demanding child that I am afraid Sky is not getting all that she needs. I have all the right materials to teach her with, but when it comes time to teach Moon has to be held or start ripping books up or coloring on the walls. I would also like to focus on helping Moon get her colors down because she hasn't mastered it yet. This is probably what's left over from the 'terrible twos' that I thought ended.

Anyway, tommorrow and Sunday are sure to be filled with packing and cleaning. This may be the last post until I get back (Thursday). Have a good weekend.

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4:40 AM EST 

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