Monday, June 13, 2005
Typical weekend

These weekends seem to be forming some kind of a trend. Saturdays seem to be about being out and about, followed by nights of drinking and gameplaying--which turn into early morning retirements. Sundays seem to go to cook-outs, much recovery, and awkward silences. Seems like a pattern. Luckily, I just watch--I don't do much drinking, and haven't been drunk in about a year.

I'm having a difficult time emotionally lately. I really would like to get some Christian counseling, but I don't really have the time or ambition. I keep thinking about a lot of yucky stuff. I'm not questioning God, as I know his plan is much greater than me. On the other hand, I sure would love to know how some of these experiences play into the Big-Picture.

More than anything, I'm having a hard time accepting that I'm Good Enough. I'm not the greatest wife, mother, cook, maid, etc. I am Good Enough. I know it, I just can't bring myself to accept it right now.

Hero is not doing well with his dieting, although he is doing a heck of a lot more PT. I'm hoping they will at least balance each other out.

Sky and Moon are being typical two and three year olds. Moon finally got in the pool and stayed in for more than fifteen seconds. She still won't go near the sprinkler. Sky loves all things wet, and all things muddy and grass covered even more. She loves to spray me with the hose when I'm not looking also. Try not laughing while your three year old hoses you down. Now try not laughing while your three year old hoses your neighbor down unexpectedly. While both are funny, one is obviously funnier than the other. And not getting wet again is an added bonus.

Blogger Heidi had this to say:

hi, magnolia! your typical weekend sounds like fun to me! I love cook outs!

I'm sorry to hear you are having a difficult time emotionally right now. Just in the short time I've gotten to know you through your blog, I have sensed that you are a very nice, funny, caring individual who has so much to offer! You have 2 wonderful girls and a great hubby... I know there's much more to you than those things, and I am certain that even while you are experiencing this difficult time, there is a reason you are where you are right now. You are right to say God has a plan. Faith is a difficult thing to have, and trusting can be almost painful at times... But sometimes in order to find peace we must first rely on our faith to pull us through the rough times. (that sounded like such a corny bunch of BS.. sorry! It just came out, and I won't delete it, b/c maybe there's a reason it came out like that...) Anyway, hang in there! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))

Oh, and I laughed so hard abt the girls and their outdoor antics! :) Gotta love the way they bring unexpected smiles to our faces!

6:53 PM EDT 

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