Wednesday, June 15, 2005
For my mental health

After much convincing and six years, I've finally decided to go back to a head doctor.

It's a whole long story that I can't even begin to tell. To sum it up, I was diagnosed with several different disorders, given way more medication than anyone should ever have to take. Not one diagnosis stuck for more than a few months, so everyone concerned was confused. No medication helped, except to self medicate.

I never really wanted to talk about any of this on here, and I hope no one minds.

Six years ago, I was sick of the meds, sick of being diagnosed, and sick of being sick. I never went to see anyone since. I thought if I was able to control (most of) my 'behaviors', I didn't need any more help. Fortunately, I was able to control most of my behaviors. Unfortunately, I was not able to control my feelings, which swing from happy to sad to angry within hours.

In the last few weeks, I have been trying to figure out what my problem is. I finally grew some balls ('scuse the mouth), and looked up all the different things I had previously been diagnosed with. Out of all six, one fits. The one that fits sucks the most. Figures.

Now that I am finally being honest to myself, I decided to make an appointment with a therapist. Hopefully with my new found ambition and the therapist's skills we can get this head of mine fixed.

Blogger Heidi had this to say:

I think you are very brave and strong to face this head-on and to share it on your blog. I wish you all the best on your journey to better health. You deserve happiness and peace. I hope you find it, the sooner the better! ;) I admire your courage. Hang in there.

12:43 PM EDT 

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